My Life Right Now…

I’m at the beach.

As a last hurrah for the Fellows program, we’re spending a week in the Outer Banks in a big house. It is lovely. For the first time in months, I don’t have anywhere I have to be this week or any specific responsibilities until Friday, when I get back. It is so nice to have a break from the grind of life. 

And the ocean is beautiful. :) Something about it automatically makes me feel more relaxed. Sometimes I wonder how much of that response to the beach is because I associate it with vacations and special occasions, and how much is the beauty itself. Perhaps it’s a combination of the two. 

Home Sweet Home

I pulled into the driveway of a home in Charlottesville, and took a deep breath before walking up to the porch and ringing the doorbell. The door opened and I saw the family for the first time and realized how nervous I was. What if they didn’t like me? What if they were strange people? What if…?

I had never met these people, and they had never met me, but they volunteered to let me live in their home for the next 9 months. I appreciated their generosity at allowing a stranger to come be a part of their family life. Yes, they had read my 12 page application (which included some pretty detailed stories about me), but they still didn’t really know who I was. The first few days were awkward as we started to get to know one another, but we soon all became more at ease and I began to fit into their family a little better.

From discussions about philosophy and daily life at the dinner table on family nights to watching lots of movies to celebrating birthdays with a special orange pastry for breakfast (a tradition I was happy to partake of), life with my host family gave me glimpse into another world. Most people only experience two families, the one they grow up in and the one they form when they grow up and start their own. I have gotten a chance for a third family, one that is not related to me biologically, but which gives me a chance to see how a different group of people live together. This family is similar to my own yet is also very different, and this gives me a great perspective.

My host family just does some things differently. I thought that everyone did things a certain way, but that is not the case. They have a different policy for doing the dishes. They have different eating habits. They have a cat. I realized that not every family has to look identical to work well. Once you see from the inside how another family works, it makes you think and evaluate the way you live and the choices you make about basic things like laundry and cleaning the bathroom, how to handle conflict, and even the activities the family does together.

What a valuable experience! It is one I will treasure and hopefully it will continue to shape the way I think about family and living with others for the rest of my life.

Items of Interest

Here are a few thoughts, with no apparent connection.

In 9 days the Trinity Fellows program [not counting the beach week] will be over. This is difficult to believe. It’s been amazing, overwhelming, exhausting, and wonderful, and a lot of other adjectives that sound cliche but actually are true.

I found an interesting blog post talking about church architecture and aestheics here. I like what was said, and there’s an interesting discussion on the topic of “waste.”

Ricola cough drops do wonders for the sore throat/ coughing fits. The honey herb ones also taste pretty good, unlike other brands. I’ve been eating them like candy this morning.

It has become apparent to me that I must read Dostoyevsky’s The Brothers Karamazov. I have heard more about that one book this year than any other book [with the possible exception of the Bible]. A lot of people I have come to greatly respect speak very highly of this book. My mother also gave a copy of this book to me 2 Christmases ago — always a good sign that a book is worthwhile.

I’ve been thinking. Life is a pretty short affair, and I want to do things that are worthwhile. Unfortunately, I am easily distracted by things that are a waste of time…. I want to waste less time and use my little life to do things that matter in the long run, even if they aren’t as fun in the short run.

Where Do We Go From Here?

I look at you, and your loneliness is
Suffocating.
I look back, and my loneliness is like
Drowning.
So close, we sit on uncomfortable chairs
Our words bounce off
Unable to sink in –
Together but alone.
So easy to slide away
Lost in our depths;
When will we surface?
Bubbling and pushing past
We are so different, you and I–
Did I tell you?

I don’t really know how to swim.