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If there are two words I would use to characterize my life right now, it would be these:
Stink bugs.
I don’t remember seeing them too much this summer; I suppose they dislike the heat of July and August, and who can blame them, really? But now that the summer heat is coming to a close (or so we hear — I have only felt slight evidence of this), they are back in full force.
Though I am not a huge fan of bugs, I usually take the appearance of a bug or two in stride, deal with it calmly, and then move on with life (notable exceptions include large bugs that present themselves in the shower). Stink bugs, however, are another story. Somehow their shield/hexagon-shaped bodies and long creeping legs just make me shiver. It’s not that they are particularly quick (they’re rather slow), and it’s not that they attack (as far as I know they don’t bite), it’s just their creepy presence. They lurk about in doorways and swarms of them buzz loudly past, trying to land on the nearest surface.
Stink bugs appear to be lazy, only exerting the energy to fly when necessary. Usually you see them clinging to a wall or door, waiting, lurking, moving their gangly legs in slow motion to creep along. I think it isn’t any one thing that particularly disgusts me about them, it’s just everything taken together. The knowledge that as soon as I open the door I will be met with one accompanied by 5 of its friends clinging to the door and sides makes me hesitate before pulling it open. The fact that if I squish one it will emit a terrible odor makes me cringe. The loud buzzing makes me whip my head around to make sure the offending bug isn’t about to land on my shirt. And they are everywhere. Inside, outside, crawling along the molding, clinging to the window, ready to fly at me as if I am a good place to hang out for a while. Ugh.
What will it take to eradicate the plague of stink bugs? I am waiting for the night I wake up dreaming of them — it cannot be far away. They are a constant presence in my life, and I hate their lazy stares and half-hearted movement. With some bugs I at least feel that they are doing something: ants are always busy, scurrying around to find the next source of food; but there is little to respect about a stink bug. Worst of all, I know that some of them will hang around this winter, still clinging to the ceiling of a back bedroom or sitting on a windowsill, refusing to die off, as all self-respecting bugs should do in the winter. It’s one of the charms of winter that bugs are at a minimum, but there always seems to be one or two stink bugs hanging around, defying nature in a bored sort of way.
A curse on all stink bugs! May they die in the cold and their eggs be smashed where they lie!
